like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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