i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
