i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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