i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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