The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
a search helicopter?!
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
