Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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