Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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