dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
