These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
meet me or not, i'm out of control
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
