one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
