your thong is hanging out like whoa
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
