And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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