he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
