I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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