What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
