if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
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