I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
God I need to hump something, right now.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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