You really coming over, don't trick.
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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