i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
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