do herpes really smell.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
