His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
