This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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