i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
