I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
