Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
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