he puts the penis in happiness.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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