Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
