dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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