Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
