thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
where does the pee come out of this thing
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
