Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
