Ambien. No doubt about it.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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