i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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