He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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