at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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