HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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