i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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