I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
