Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
My bed smells like the plague
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