Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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