I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
