just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
