your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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