i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
