dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
