HIV tests are more positive than that guy
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
