Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
