STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
drinking out of a sandbucket again
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
