FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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