How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
