please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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