Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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